“What did you do at school today?’’ is the usual question on my lips at the dinner table. “Nothing or I don’t know” is usually the standard reply from my preteens all the way down to my five-year-old. Picking my children’s brains about the happenings of their day is important to me. Where did they go? What did they learn? Also, who are they associating with and what values are they learning from them? These are all parental concerns that I have learned to address with good family mealtime conversations.
Sometimes as a parent, it is best to not be so direct. Some children tend to hold their fears, concerns and joys inside. A back door carefully opened in the spring will usually lead to a lot of fresh air. The same is true with family meal time conversation. Having a back door of traditional conversation during mealtime can bring forth some fresh news of about your child’s daily experiences. Here are some tips to help you create your own rewarding family mealtime conversations.
1. Talking competitively all at once just creates a loud noise. Have a standard rule that each child will be given a chance to share something about their day. Remind your children that it is good manners to not speak with their mouth full or to interrupt someone else.
2. During dinner, have a specific question which will invite each child to share more about the experiences of their day. For example; invite each child to share something that they did not enjoy about their day. This will often encourage them to share information about any worries or problems that may be on their mind.
Adults sometimes have a tendency to minimize a child’s problems. Instead, make a mental note about anything that your child is struggling with or seems to be sad about. Be sure to have a private talk with them later, away from other family members about actions they can take to resolve the problem. This type of parental guidance will help your child to learn step by step problem solving skills.
Also, sharing information about your own problem and the actions you took to resolve it will help them reflect on your standards and ideals. It will also help them realize that gown-ups have problems too!
3. Once you’ve shed some light on their worries and problems, let the fresh air in by sharing some fun experiences and laughter. For example; invite each child to share something wonderful that happened to them during the day and any funny jokes or experiences. You might share your own joke or funny childhood experience that will clue them in on the mysterious fact that you were once a child too. Laughter around the dinner table at the end of a long day is the ideal recipe for a fun family mealtime experience.
Find more Parenting Tips at childnparent.com
By: Debby Hoffer
May 19th, 2008
We know that spending quality time with our kids is really important and is the perfect way to bond with our children. However, what some of us Mothers often forget is the importance of spending quality time alone, away from the kids, Mom Time, so that we do not forget who we are and what we love to do.
While playing with Barbie’s is very exciting, it is nice to take time away from wishing you had Barbie’s life, to actually having it for a night. Going out with some girlfriends and shopping, getting your hair and nails done, or going to a movie can be just the break necessary to help clear your mind and have some adult conversation.
While taking your child out to dinner may work most of the time, imagine you and your husband, out for the night without having to feed someone else, worry about all of the spilt food on the floor, or rush outside when your baby is crying and coming back to cold food.
I have seen first hand that sanity goes hand in hand with Mom Time. I feel the difference when it has been a while since I have been “alone” or done something just for me. Once I get out for a few hours I come back refreshed and realize that I actually do like my kids. After all, how can you miss them when they are always with you? You can’t!
In the rare case that it has been so long since you had a moment to yourself, you may be wondering what you would do if you were kid free for a few hours. Here are a few ideas. I already mentioned shopping, getting your hair or nails done, and a movie with friends. There is always date night with your significant other, including dinner, where you will actually be able to carry on a conversation. Have you thought about taking a walk or a drive? What about a trip to the grocery store or to your favorite craft store?
Whatever you do, remember to spend the time doing grown up things, and as tempting as it may be to talk about or think about your kids the whole time, don’t! This is your time to get away.
And, of course, use the advice at Child N Parent on Parenting Tips to help keep your sanity.
By: Vanessa Lee
May 12th, 2008
What do you do when your excited son shows you the snake that he has just captured? Do you get angry when the spiders that he gathered get loose in your house? How do you feel when he comes home with his new outfit covered in mud? I think that all Moms’ will agree that boys will be boys.
My son has always been terrified of bugs. He liked to look from a distance, or on a brave occasion poke at them with a long stick, but the second a bug made any contact with his skin or clothing he would become terrified. While I felt bad that he had this fear, I was also relieved in a way. I have always heard that having a son would mean that he would always be dirty, and would bring home all kinds of bugs which I was not excited about. Until recently, none of this had happened.
My husband took my son exploring in a nearby field. He had never gone into the field because I had told him about all of the bugs and snakes in there; that did not sound fun to him. However after exploring with Dad, he had a new appreciation for all of the creepy crawly things that he saw.
A few days later he told me that he had caught a bug. I pictured a little ladybug or something and congratulated him. Minutes later he came up to me and had a large cricket on his arm. It was crawling from hand to hand and arm to arm; my son was smiling from ear to ear. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, grab the camera, or hurry and get the bug off of him.
I watched for a minute and then thought to myself…boys will be boys. One fear conquered, what will be next?
Have questions about naptime or nosebleeds? We have help at Childn’ Parent.
By: Vanessa Lee
April 30th, 2008
With spring here, its time to get your child ready to take off in tee ball! This exciting sport gives children experience in running, coordination, muscle strength and cooperative teamwork skills. Working with your child on basic tee ball drills will help them get ready to play a better game.
Soft Sock Ball Grounders
This fun inside drill helps a child get ready to catch grounders. Roll up one or two socks into a big softball. Have your child stand several feet away and roll the soft sock ball in a straight line toward the child. Have your child practice using the mitt by scooping up the sock ball in a clutch. Point out that the clutched mitt is like an alligator with a mouth that opens and closes. Practicing the alligator clutch over and over will encourage the habit of squeezing the mitt whenever the ball is in it.
Running the Bases
Small children can get easily confused by which way to run, especially during an exciting game. In the backyard or at a park, set up a baseball diamond with three bases and a home plate. Have your child run the bases touching on each one briefly while yelling out which base they are on. This experience helps build confidence and gives your child a directional map so they know which way to run during an actual game.
For great help on sporting drills, coaching your child’s team, selecting a bat and saving money on sporting equipment be sure to read our tee ball article at Childn’ Parent.
By Debby Hoffer
April 25th, 2008
After seeing Mom run as a way to stay fit and keep her piece of mind with three small children, my daughter, age 9, decided that she would like to begin running and eventually start to race.
As we sat down and discussed what she knew about running, I realized that she did not know much. However, she noticed that when I would run, I would have fun. She said that she wanted to be healthy, and she wanted to learn to run faster so that she would do better at sports. I told her that this was a great idea and that I would love to help her get started.
The first thing that any runner needs is some good running shoes. I explained to her the value of having shoes that would properly support your feet and help keep your body in proper alignment. Second, she would need to spend a little time stretching before and after her run. Stretching helps to prevent injury. Third, she would need to start out slowly, and gradually build up her mileage and speed.
After the quick lesson, she was ready to run. She got ready, put on her iPod, and was out the door. She came home about 10 minutes later and said that she felt great and was ready to race. It was the fastest run ever, but the important part was that she had planted a seed. She found something healthy and active that could benefit her for years to come and she wanted to pursue running for fun.
As parents, we need to encourage our children to engage in healthy activities that keep them moving, and build strong lungs and a healthy heart. Running is a great way to give your child an amazing workout in a short amount of time. Running will help them gain strength and build endurance and will help them to excel in future sports.
To find races and events in your area suitable for children, visit www.active.com.
Click here to find Parenting Tips and help with Youth Sports.
By Vanessa Lee
April 21st, 2008
Springtime is here and its time for fun in the sun with inexpensive outdoor activities for kids. In the last twenty years, the number of overweight children in the United States has doubled making child obesity a serious parental concern. Outdoor games can help parents and kids stay in shape and create lasting memories in your own backyard!
Red Rover Red Rover
This old fashioned game involves running and stretching. Divide children into two teams with one team situated on either side of the backyard. Have the children stand in a line, face forward while stretching out their arms and clasping hands. One team starts the game by calling “Red Rover, Red Rover send (child’s name) right over.” The child named runs to the other team and tries to break through the clasped hands. If the child cannot break through, they return to their original team. If the child does break through, have them join hands with the opposing team. The next team then takes a turn. Play the game until each child has had a running turn.
Duck, Duck Goose
This is a fun game for small preschool children which involves running and memory skills. Have the children sit in a circle. Pick one child to be it. Have the child walk around the circle tapping each child on the head saying duck. When the child is ready to run, have them tap a child and say goose. The child tapped as the goose then gets up and runs around the circle chasing the other child until he or she finds a spot in the circle to sit down. If the goose child taps the duck child before sitting down, the duck child is out. Play the game until each child has had a turn.
The Two-Legged Relay Race
This game teaches teamwork, running and coordination skills. Divide children into two teams and have them buddy up with a partner. Have them stand with their legs side by side. Take an old rag and tie it securely around the left leg of one partner to the right leg of the other partner. Putting their arms across their shoulders, have them practice running across the yard. Set a starting point and have the first two teams race across the yard and back to the next set of buddies. Each set of buddies takes a turn tying the rag around the legs and racing across the yard. The first team to finish wins!
Find Parenting Tips for swimming and team sports at Childn’Parent and more fun games at: Rainbow/Org and Disney Family
By: Debby Hoffer
April 15th, 2008
Approximately 600,000 Americans suffer sports-related eye injuries every year¹, and approximately 43 percent occur in children younger than 15 years of age². If your child is signed up for tee-ball, baseball, softball, tennis or soccer this spring, a few simple steps can help protect them from becoming a statistic.
One big misconception is that “normal” eyewear is sufficient for your child to wear while playing sports. It’s not. Wearing the proper protective eyewear is important to fully protect their eyes, say the Oregon Optometric Physicians Association (OOPA) and American Optometric Association (AOA).
According to these groups, conventional frames and lenses don’t meet the minimum requirements for impact resistance in most sports, so even a small collision can easily turn into a sight-threatening injury. Sports-protective eyewear, on the other hand, is tested to meet rigid safety standards, and some have been independently verified and received the AOA Seal of Acceptance.
It’s also important to take your child for an eye exam before letting him or her play. These exams can detect vision problems such as nearsightedness, farsightedness or astigmatism, all of which can diminish your child’s performance on the field or court.
Many parents may not realize that the sport of paintball is especially dangerous to their child’s eyes. The size of the paintball and the velocity with which it’s projected make it particularly threatening. Participants and bystanders alike can sustain injuries from this popular sport.
Every 13 minutes, an emergency room in the United States treats a sports-related eye injury3, nearly all of which could be prevented by using the proper protective eyewear. Whether your child is playing for fun or for competition this spring, do all you can to ensure they play – and see – well.
Brad Smith is an optometric physician in Portland and a member of the Oregon Optometric Physicians Association. See an OOPA informational on kids’ sports vision.
Check out Parenting Tips for children’s safety at Childn’ Parent.
¹ Tri-Service Vision Conservation and Readiness Program, Eyes (Ears) and Workers Compensation
² U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission
3 US Consumer Product Safety Commission
April 8th, 2008
Getting rid of head lice will soon be an easier battle for parents and medical persons alike! The LouseBuster, designed and tested by several people at the University of Utah, is a medical device which can kill lice in one simple dry air treatment. Currently, the LouseBuster is undergoing clinical studies with the hope to obtain FDA clearance by the end of 2008.
Randy Block, President and COO of Larada Sciences, which is a licensee for the LouseBuster device, shared his hopes for the LouseBuster’s future; “In the United States we could very possibly have this sold to schools, school districts, for school nurses to potentially treat kids right on the premises. Another method would be to sale it to medical professionals so that a person with head lice could get treated at their family doctor.”
Block goes on to speak about lice specialty services and how the LouseBuster could revolutionize the industry “One day a person with head lice will be able to go to one of these specialty clinics or have a mobile service either come to their school or come to their house and perform the LouseBuster treatment right on site.”
Eradicating head lice in one simple treatment at home or at school can save parents both time and money! For more information on the LouseBuster, see our article “Medical Breakthrough Wipes out Headlice, the LouseBuster” under Health Topics.
By: Debby Hoffer
March 24th, 2008
If my baby was a boy, my three-year-old son thought “Mater” would be a good name. Luckily for the baby, it’s a girl. That same child is lucky he wasn’t a girl because his older sisters wanted to name him “Lolly”. I know people who were named by older siblings after “Curious George” and “Marsha” from “The Brady Bunch”.
My husband and I have chosen to tell our three children they are absolutely not naming the baby, and that’s final. But we have still tried to come up with a name they at least like. We’ve started calling her little Claire now so there will be no confusion when she’s born.
When you already have older children, it is really the family that is having the baby. It is important to make sure siblings are involved in the excitement and anticipation of the pregnancy. This helps them to feel a bond with the baby when it is born, and be less likely to feel replaced.
Sometimes I feel a little mauled by the older kids, but know it is important to let them feel the baby move. They love to give her (really my stomach) hugs and kisses.
Older children start to deal with changes from the time Mom becomes pregnant. Early in my pregnancy I was plagued with morning sickness. Sometimes I would run out of the room with no explanation (strange behavior for a mom). My son once followed me to the bathroom, then pretended to throw-up as well.
Other times I would spend long periods of time lying on the couch. I found it good to explain to them what was happening to me and that these things were a normal part of pregnancy. Knowing helped reduce their anxiety.
These things are just the beginning of changes to come. They range from sharing Mom’s attention to shifting beds and bedrooms. It’s important to start preparing children early and make the changes gradually so kids are not hit with everything at once.
For tips on helping get your big kids ready for a baby, visit our tips for siblings article in the pregnancy section of childnparent.com.
Happy pregnancy!
By: Megamom
Megan C. Wallgren
March 17th, 2008
When I strap my child into a car seat, I want the confidence that she is safe and secure. Last year, car seat safety testing by Consumer Reports magazine had many parents questioning the safety of their children in the car seats. The magazine later revised its recommendations, stating that all of the car seats met federal testing standards and that their method of testing was different.
Now the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has revamped its consumer ratings system for child safety seats. The new rating is a five star system based on the seat’s ability to secure a child, the ease of use and installation, and clear labeling and instruction manuals.
To ensure safety, it is important to never use second hand safety seats, since having been in a previous accident could affect the seat’s stability in a crash. Check your car seat’s expiration date if you’ve used it for more than one of your children. The buckle case on one of my car seats cracked. When we checked the date, it was expired. Also check your car seat against recent recalls.
The Evenflo Company has issued a voluntary recall of 1 million child safety seats. Tests showed the seats could become separated from their base in a high impact side collision. The recall concerns Discovery infant car seats models 390, 391, 534, and 552 made between April 2005 January 2008.
To correct the problem, Evenflo is offering a free supplemental dual hook fastener to ensure the seat remains attached. It is not necessary for users to return the car seat, only to use the new fastener. To order the fastener call, 1-800-356-2229 or visit the Evenflo website.
For more Parenting Tips and a more complete guide to keeping your kids safe in the car see our website at childnparent.com
By: Megan C. Wallgren
March 9th, 2008
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