When I went from having one kid to 2 kids, I knew that it was going to be hard and it was.   Bella became very, very jealous of Sophia, and ever since she was born Bella has not been the nicest big sister.  I have tried explaining to her that she got just as much attention as Sophia did when she was her age, but she is still jealous and acting out and trying to boss Sophia around.

Part of the reason, I think, has to do with Sophia’s father somewhat coming around.  Bella gets very mad and sad and jealous.  Bella’s father didn’t see her at all until she was probably around 2, and for a few years saw her on Christmas and her birthday.  But for the past 2 or 3 years he hasn’t been around at all and I get so angry and I feel so bad.  I don’t understand how a father could just not care about his child enough to even call her once in a while, so I have had a hard time with Bella.  She acts out a lot!

So, in February I got married to a wonderful guy and we got pregnant. He is really excited.  He loves Bella and Sophia very much but I think he is super excited to have a child of his own.  The pregnancy was rough with morning sickness and the marriage was kind of in a shambles for a while but it’s getting better and I think everything will work out, but I do have some concerns with both kids when this baby comes.  I try and give my older kids as much as I can right now before the baby comes, swim lessons, alone time with each of them etc. but I still think there still will be issues.

I think they are excited about the baby coming but at the same time there will be times when Sophia is throwing a fit and she will threaten to hit my tummy and that really worries me.  I also have decided to home preschool Sophia so that we have our one on one time together while the baby is napping and what not, I am hoping this will help.

If any of you have any suggestions on anything or have been through similar things as far as jealousy, a father that isn’t around etc.

I would love to hear from you, I’m so stressed out over it all it would help to know that I’m not alone.

Thank you for listening,

Jessy

In today’s fast paced world, hand washing is slowly becoming a thing of the past.  Isn’t it funny that a simple health habit which kills germs and prevents sickness is something that some people are just too busy to do!   In one study conducted by the Minnesota Department of Health at the Minnesota State Fair, only 65% of the females along with 39% of the males actually washed their hands after using the bathroom.  It pretty much adds up to one big yuck!

Teach your kids to wash their hands!  Not only will it lower your medical bill, you’ll feel like a really good Mom as you teach them a health habit that they can really hang on to.  Start by teaching them how to lather up with only one pump of soap.  Teach them proper hand washing skills by demonstrating how to squish the soap between their fingers to get all the soap running around the little crevices.  Show your child how to rub the soap into the fingernail to kill any nasty underlying germs.  Also, teach your child how to safely turn on both the hot and cold water to quickly achieve a warm temperature.  Keep a bottle of hand sanitizer near the back door for quick killing germ attacks, especially after playing in the dirt or sand.

Practicing the health habit of good hand washing can carry over into the school years.   Washing hands at school will kill yucky germs and help your whole family to stay healthy.  Tell your child to leave the germs at school by washing their hands after every bathroom break and just before lunch.   Buy some sanitizing wipes that they can keep in their backpack for both hand and face clean ups at school. Most teachers keep hand sanitizer in the classroom.  Ask your child to sanitize regularly after recess.  If the classmate sitting next to them is blowing, coughing or sneezing, tell your child to sanitize more frequently, especially if they have borrowed any school supplies.

The good health habit of hand washing can carry over into the adult years.  If you teach your child well, you can bet that when they grow up and go to the State Fair they will come out of the bathroom with their hands washed!  Oh, and they won’t use the water in the potty.

By:  Debby Hoffer

That area of bare floor where, if she pulled herself up and fell, she could hurt herself?  The section of the hallway that you haven’t vacuumed yet?   The eggs on your kitchen floor that your other child just spilled?  These are the places she’s headed first.  She wants to get into everything she hasn’t explored yet, no matter how dangerous.  No exceptions.

Your desperate “get-back-here-right-now”s are a hilarious game to her, not a command.  She doesn’t understand yet that there are some places she should not go.  Your “Stop!” makes her halt once, look back at you, grin, and then redouble her zoom-here-zoom-there-zoom-everywhere behavior.

She’s not trying to make trouble, but it sure feels like it when you have to chase after her and snatch her up all the time.  Sometimes your hands are full, like when you’re rolling out piecrust or holding another child.  Maybe you’ve got a sore back and can’t pick her up easily.

You can’t keep her locked in her play yard all day, but boy, are you tempted!  Luckily, there’s another solution to getting her back that perhaps you haven’t tried yet.

Lure her back!  Yes, that baby in a crawling frenzy will sometimes go where you want her to of her own free will.  The trick is to get her to want to, too.

Try these tips on your adventurous baby:

Lure her back with a ball. 
Keep a ball that’s soft and light enough for her to bat around on the hallway floor.  When your baby zips off down the hallway, call her name and tap it with your foot so it goes toward her.  She’ll stop, look around, and turn around to play with the ball.  With enough practice manipulating the ball, she’ll quickly get the hang of the baby version of “catch.” This is a very effective way to move your unsuspecting baby along in the direction you choose—rather than her own.

Lure her back with a song, dance, or other performance. 
This lure to get a baby into her bedroom (or any other room) requires some finesse.  When you start yodeling, often the baby will stop, stare at you, grin with delight—and turn around and dash off again.  The secret to getting your baby to come is to back up slowly until you’re no longer visible—ideally ending up in her bedroom—while continuing to perform for her listening pleasure.  If she likes the show enough, she may just follow you into the room for an encore.

Lure her back with a “What’s this?”
“What’s this?” will get any baby’s attention right quick.  Say, “What’s this,” and she’ll make a dash your way to investigate.  Here’s how it works:  Make a quick grab for the nearest interesting, safe and new object.  Remember, new is the key.  The familiar toy won’t earn more than a contemptuous glance.   So “What’s this?  Your favorite fluffy bunny?” will have her looking at you like you’re insane.  “Me?  Return for that?  But I haven’t explored the dusty vacuum cleaner yet.  See you later!”

“What’s this?  Your father’s favorite baseball cap?” will do, or “What’s this? Oh, boy, is it an oven mitt?  Is that what it is?” or even “What’s this?  What’s this, baby?  Is it the half-torn return reply envelope for the telephone bill that I just paid online?  Wow!  You’ve got to see this!  That’s right.  Come to Mama.”"

The benefit of these “lure the baby” games is more than just saving you the trouble of hauling your baby everywhere.  It teaches your baby how to manipulate new toys and objects and that doing what you want gets her rewarded.  And it saves your aching back, so instead of chasing her around twenty times an hour, you only have to do it ten times an hour.

Even ten times an hour can put a strain on your back.  But don’t worry; the crawling stage will soon be over.  Before you know it, your baby will be standing on her own.  And walking.  Everywhere.  But that is another parenting adventure.

See Child n’Parent Parenting Tips for Soothing Your Baby to Sleep and Car Seat Safety.

By Karen Proctor

Unfortunately, the disease made an unexpected comeback in the 1970s and ever since then, it has been a cause for concern among pediatricians and parents. The possible reasons why the disease has resurfaced are many. People are not getting as much sun as they used to, the modern diet is unhealthy. Not only that, but breast feeding has become more common, so more babies are getting their food from mothers with poor nutrition.

Vitamin D is important for maintaining the shape and strength of growing bones. Without it, a growing child may develop severe skeletal deformities. It also helps keep the calcium levels where they should be.  The human skin absorbs vitamin D from the ultraviolet rays of the sun . The nutrient is also found in some foods, like cow’s milk. Human milk is deficient in iron, vitamin K and vitamin D.

Doctors recommend 200-400 IU/day of vitamin D for infants but, the levels of concentration in the milk of African-American women is usually only 35 IU/L and 68 IU/L in white women.  Darker skin pigment makes it harder to absorb vitamin D from the sun, so deficiencies are more common in African-Americans.

When the mother takes supplements in order to enrich her milk, the vitamin levels do not rise enough to make up for the deficiency. Doctors recommend supplements for the infant, not the mother, as the best way to prevent  malnutrition.

Many parents remain unaware that their baby might need supplements with their breast milk. The common belief that breast milk is ‘the perfect food’ for babies, does not help to enlighten the public. Nor are pediatricians eager to point out the few drawbacks to breast feeding, thinking it will scare others into using the bottle instead of the breast.

Controversy about the amount of vitamin D a baby should get and where they should get it from is rife within the medical community. Some doctors advocate supplements, some don’t so there is no consensus about the most likely treatment. Concerned parents should talk to their babies’ doctor. The next best thing a nursing mother can do for her baby is to ask questions. The best thing is to eat well and get a little sunlight.

For happy, healthy babies use our parenting tips at Child N Parent.

By:  Stephanie Moore

Children who play football should be of the same age and size to avoid unnecessary injury. A well managed Pee-wee or Youth Football team will also have a balanced number of coaches per player to promote one on one instruction. For more information on getting your child ready to play football, check out the article “Prepare Your Child to Play Youth Football.” In this article we offer sound advice from two expert coaches to get your child’s game on!

In the game of football there are eleven players that take the field playing either offensive or defensive positions. The team that has possession of the ball is called the offense and the team defending their goal is called the defense. Each team develops pre-set game plans to get the football past the opposing team’s line of scrimmage, down the field and into the end zone to score a touchdown of six points.

There are four timed quarters in football with a half-time. When the game is being timed, the football is in motion and it is called a play. The goal of the offense is to get the ball down the field by at least ten yards within the time-frame of four plays. Achieving a ten yard advancement is called a “first down.” Critical to the success of the team is how each player executes their position during a play when the football is in motion.

The defense is made up of seven positions. Defensive players must be able to run, block, tackle and react quickly to offensive strategy. The offense is made up of five major positions. The objective of the offensive line is to protect the football as it is hiked by the center to the quarterback for a pass, handoff or running play. Offensive players must be able to pass, block, tackle, run fast and quickly see holes in the defensive strategy.

For children who want to play football, Pop Warner Football is a national youth organization with football and cheerleading leagues throughout the country. The Pop Warner organization is well known for strict age, weight and safety requirements. Children can play, parents’ can watch and, in the end, everyone who enjoys All American football goes home a winner!

By:

It’s time for back to school shopping. Families already feeling the crunch of increased food and fuel costs are looking for ways to send their kids back to school in style, and still save a little cash. These super saver tips can help you get more bang for your buck on back to school supplies!

1. Make a back to school shopping list. Determine what your child needs in back to school clothes by going through their closet. Decide what your child can wear and what is needed to fill in the gaps. Look for clothing you can mix and match to make more outfits. Local thrift stores often have great deals on gently used brand name clothing. Consignment stores’, like Just Between Friends, are a great opportunity for back to school bargains’. You can sell your child’s smaller sized clothing and save big on back to school clothes in a bigger size.

For the classroom, you will want to create a back to school shopping list for each child. Buy basic back to school supplies such as pencils and erasers. Wait until you get a supply list from the teacher before shopping for back to school classroom supplies.

2. Budget. Once you decide on a back to school budget, stick to it. That doesn’t mean you can’t splurge on something your child really wants, you’ll just have to cut back in a different area. If you buy brand new name brand jeans, you’ll have to get no-name shirts and shoes. Don’t be afraid to say no. Adults don’t get whatever they want just by throwing a tantrum and children need to learn how to positively deal with disappointment.

3. Comparison shop. Shop smart for back to school supplies by looking through the back to school ads. Stores often have door-buster items meant to get you in the store. By hitting several different stores and buying just the door-busters, you can get more items at discounted prices. Try to find stores in one local area to save both time and gas.

4. Spread the cost. By starting early, you can not only spread out the cost of back to school, you can also avoid the crowds. Buy just what you need to get your kids started, then wait until the back to school items are on sale to finish off the shopping. Kids can wear shorts the first few weeks and short sleeves well into the fall. You can get discounted jeans and long sleeved shirts just in time for cooler weather. Scan and shop the sales racks for stuff to be saved for next year.

5. Buy quality. Good quality back to school stuff may cost a little more up front, but will save you money in the long run. Kids are especially hard on shoes. If you buy a pair now at $15, but have to buy another pair in three months, it really doesn’t save you any money. Let your kids know you expect them to take good care of their school clothes and back to school supplies so that they will last through out the school year.

Get more bang for your buck on back to school supplies at Dollar Days: 

Get great parenting tips at Child N Parent

By: Megan C. Wallgren

Keep track of your child’s back to school activities and school life in your personal organizer.  Designate an electronic or written page for each child.  Put their name at the top and jot down important information such as birth date, social security number, doctor information, special interests, close friends, friend phone numbers and last school attended.

Having information handy will save you time during back to school registration.  Keeping track of friends will help in scheduling play dates and meeting other parents. Tracking an older child’s likes and interests will allow you to provide effective guidance when choosing electives.  As the school year gets rolling you can keep track of teacher names, classroom numbers and school schedules. This will help you effectively plan future doctor appointments as well as family vacations.

Keep important school papers organized with a basket/file system.  Buy and designate a metal basket for each child.  Have your child hang up their backpack when they get home and put their school work and any parent notes in the basket.

Go through the parental paperwork daily and calendar any field trips, events and volunteer work.  Clip corrected papers together and put them in the bottom of the basket.  Keep homework and work in progress projects to the top so your child can work on them and put them back as needed.

Have your child lay out their school clothes the night before and transfer any completed homework to their back pack.  Your child will learn organizational skills and you’ll both have a less hectic morning trying to get out the door.

At the end of the week, go through the corrected papers with your child and determine which ones are most important to save.  Put them in a memory book, or buy a sturdy file box and file the papers under the school, grade and teacher name.  The file box is nice as you can keep important paperwork such as birth certificates, social security cards, immunization records and official school records all neatly filed in the box.

Staying organized, completing homework on time and keeping up with parental paperwork will help both you and your child have a year of back to school success!

For back to school supplies:  metal baskets in all shapes and colors at Stacks and Stacks     Best back packs Consumer Search   Great files boxes for organizing and staying on top of the back to school paperwork at msn shopping:

For parenting tips on home schooling, ADHD and  children’s health go to Child N Parent!

By:  Debby Hoffer

What about babies and even infants? It may seem strange to think that these small little bundles of joy could have any reason to feel stress or pain of any kind, but that is not the case. While somewhat new to the United States, infant massage and baby massage are making their mark and proving just how important massage is to the care and development of all babies and especially infants.

Not only will massage provide the needed touch and care that your baby’s needs and desires, but it will build a close relationship between you and your child. Experts emphasize that getting Dads. Moms, and even Grandparents involved in baby massage is a great idea.

The benefits of infant massage are exciting, and most parents would not trade the short time that they spend each day massaging their infant for anything. Infant massage contributes so much to the growth, development, and overall happiness of the child and parents.

Some of the benefits of baby or infant massage:

~Relaxation- Helping to calm your baby and their muscles, while teaching them how to relax and the importance of relaxation in life.

~Relief from pain- An infant with colic can be a strain on the entire family. Certain massage techniques can help to relieve the gas and spasm that the infant exeriencenes, and can help the digestive system to work more efficiently.

~Bonding- Spending one on one time with your infant and creating a special bond that may be hard to find in our busy lives.

~Sleep- Massage helps the baby to be relaxed and pain free, helping them sleep better, and in turn helping you sleep better.

~Health- Massage is good for your infants overall health. It promotes proper blood flow as well as increased sensory awareness and normal brain development.

There are many important techniques involved in infant massage, and likewise there are many resources available to help parents know how to properly perform infant massage.

Books, instructors, and even instructional videos are available to help you get the most out of the time you spend massaging your baby. In the meantime, get your infant in the habit of spending this relaxation time with you each day.

The environment in which you perform your infant’s massage is vital. A room that is cool and well lit does not promote the same calming effect as one that is at a comfortable temperature with dimmed lights and soft music playing. Try to create an atmosphere that would be appealing to you if you were to receive a massage. Experts suggest using a vegetable or plant oil to massage your baby rather that mineral based baby oil, which may not absorb as well.

Any way that we can start our children on the path to health and happiness in life is so helpful to both them and us as their parents. Spending the short amount of time needed to massage your baby each day will benefit them for years to come, and the bond that you will form will be priceless.

Details on infant massage techniques

Naptime help for your toddler at Child N Parent

By: Vanessa Lee

With these important safety tips you can protect your baby or tot from heat exposure in the car.

1.  Use a stuffed animal toy as a visual reminder that your child is in the back seat.  Position the stuffed animal toy in the passenger seat or in a safe spot on the console.  Take the toy and put it in the empty car seat after taking your child out of the car.  When you put your child back into the car seat, switch it back to the front to remind yourself that your child is again in the back seat.

2.  Never ever leave your baby or tot in a parked car.  According to the NTSA “Cars parked in direct sunlight can reach internal temperatures up to 131 F- 172 F.”  The NTSA goes on to say that even at lower temperatures with the windows slightly rolled down, a car will still reach a high internal temperature in a matter of minutes.

3.  Cover the car seat.  Dr. John Chiles of Pueblo Pediatrics recommends that you protect your child from temperature absorbing car seat fabrics by covering an empty car seat with a white dishtowel or sheet.  Dr. Chiles also recommends that you position a frozen water bottle on the metal buckles of an empty car seat to protect your child from nasty metal buckle burns.

4.  Get tinted windows or use a sun shade.  Tinted windows can cut summer heat by up to 60%.  Check your local state laws regarding tinted windows on automobiles. A well designed sun shade will keep your baby comfortable and help prevent heat stroke.

5.  Keep plenty of drinking water and formula on hand when traveling. Dr. Chiles says that babies 4 to 6 months need an intake of 36 ounces of either formula or breast milk a day.  Newborns to six months do not need extra water.  If you are breast feeding, drink extra water so that you will have an adequate supply of milk to keep your baby hydrated.   He also recommends that babies and tots over six months have small 4oz servings of juice three times a day.   Pear, apple, and white grape juice are great for keeping kids hydrated.

More help to keep you and your child safe and cool through the hot summer months.

The American Academy of Pediatrics Summer Safety Tips for Children.

The CDC’s official guide on protecting yourself and your child from extreme heat.

Health and safety tips for your child from Dr. John Chiles of Pueblo Pediatrics.

By Debby Hoffer

A child with ADHD usually feels bombarded with environmental sights and sounds.  This sensory overload coupled with an impulse for movement causes behavior difficulties and an inability to cope with situations in a step by step manner. The drug methylphenidate helps a child’s brain deal with social and educational situations in a step by step format.

Ritalin,  the most commonly prescribed drug for treating ADHD, is a form of methylphenidate.  It mildly stimulates the central nervous system to increase chemical messages between the nerve cells of the brain and improves focus and overall concentration.

Other drugs used to treat ADHD that contain methylphenidate include Concerta, Metadate CD, Metadate ER, Ritalin LA and Ritalin SR.  Focalin XR is a combination of drugs designed to be released at a steady rate throughout the day.  Focalin XR has the advantage of fewer side effects for children and is effective longer.  Adderall is another stimulant drug used to treat ADHD with a long lasting effect.  Consult your medical professional to find the best drug with the fewest side effects for your child.

A new drug, called ABT-089, is currently in phase II clinical trials under the sponsorship of Abbott Labs.  The effectiveness of ABT-089 in children is being tested now in one clinical phase II trial.   Two more projects are being prepared with one recruiting participants and one study by invitation only.  Project completions are scheduled for October 2008 and July 2009.  In a recent press release from Abbott, the drug was found to be a “potentially safe and effective treatment” in adults with ADHD.

Drug therapy is just one of the many treatment solutions available for children with ADHD.  Carefully research your medical options to decide which therapies are best for your child.

Find symptoms and treatments available for ADHD at our article in the Child Health section at Child N Parent.

Facts of methylphenidate use including precautions at the National Institute of Drug Abuse.

Description uses and cautions for Ritalin

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) report on the ADHD study currently recruiting participants.

By:  Debby Hoffer